Monday, October 17, 2011

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1995 Review)

aka Mun ching sap daai huk ying

Director: Bosco Lam

Cast: Julie Lee, Yvonne Yung Hung, Siu-Kei Lee, Ching Mai, Lawrence Ng

Discotek / NTSC Region 1 / Not Rated / 1:85.1 Widescreen (16×9) / Dolby Digital 2.0 / Audio: Cantonese / Subtitles: English / Time: 88 min / PURCHASE

Shaw, aka “Little Cabbage”, is sold to her father’s landlord after he can no longer pay his rent. The landlord, who is called “The Scholar” is enamored by Little Cabbage’s beauty and small feet so he plans on making her his concubine but this doesn’t sit well with his sexually insatiable wife. While he is away, Cabbage finds out the wife is having an affair with a court official’s son after she hears sexual noises coming from the young master’s bedroom.

She is quickly sold to the poor guy in the village (who happens to have a HUGE dick) as his wife, and The Scholar’s wife hatches a plan to kill Big Dick and frame Cabbage so she could never be found out. When The Scholar returns he finds out that his future love slave has been sold and goes on a quest to find her and get her back. But what if she likes the big cawk?

The story is told through a series of flashbacks during the trial in which Little Cabbage and The Scholar are accused of poisoning Big Dick with an overdose of aphrodisiac causing his already HUGE penis to explode and his death. This is not a pantywaisted Democratic court with all of that “innocent until proven guilty” nonsense. This is the court of the Ch’ing government and they torture your ass until you plead guilty, especially if you are being railroaded by the judge.

While not being straight horror, this ultra-sleazy, uber-violent and unquestionably hilarious movie is something anyone reading this website should pick up. If you know anything about the Chinese, you know they have a flair for the over-the-top. Just think about the classic kung-fu flicks where they fight while flying through the air. In this one the “God of Penises” has sex with his wife, the “Queen of the Cunts” in the same style. It’s fucking awesome to behold. Of course you have patented Chinese torture sequences and lots (and I mean LOTS) of ludicrous sex scenes.

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story is cheesy in almost every way. I mean, there is an homage to the classic scene in Ghost where they play “Unchained Melody”, only in this movie the music is Chinese style! I say “almost every way” because the movie is really well made and the dramatic love story could be a totally separate movie and still be good. I loved it and I think all of you sickos will too.

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